Sep 09 2010

Just for fun, part 2

Published by at 6:55 pm under CISSP/ISC2,Humor

Here’s the CISSP Song by Rob Slade.  I’m not going to try to sing it, but I hope someone does.  And I hope that someone sends me the recording to play on the podcast.

Thanks Rob!

CISSP Song
Lyrics by Rob Slade slade@victoria.tc.ca

Sung to the tune of “The Major General’s Song,” from
“Pirates of Penzance,” by Gilbert and Sullivan [1]

CISSP (solo):
I am a Certifiable Security Professional
I’ve countermeasures physical, administrative, technical
I know the ports of TCP and backdoors with malign intent
And survey risk analysis to prove the safeguards wisely spent
I’m very well acquainted, too, with matters of the blackhat crew
Attendance on the IRC phrack channel makes my colleagues stew
With viruses and zero days I’m teeming with a lot o’ news,
With many cheerful facts about the weaknesses in Usenet news

CIO Chorus:
With many cheerful facts about the weaknesses in Usenet news (etc.)

CISSP:
I’m very good at ACLs and mandatory access modes
I know the disassembled names of CPU compare opcodes
In short, in matters physical, administrative, technical
I am the very model of an infosec professional!

Chorus:
In short, in matters physical, administrative, technical
He is the very model of an infosec professional!

CISSP:
I know our mythic history, LaPadula, Biba, and Bell
I know the biometric facts, memorized CERs as well
I understand the lattice, roles, rules, and discretion base
And pseudorandomize my keys to maximize the address space
I’ve tokens, tickets, one-time passwords, smart cards and a kerberos
And Centralized Remote Authentication to remove the dross
I’m proof against the DoS, Man-in-the-Middle and brute force attacks
My proprietary off-the-shelf stuff’s licenced and it never cracks.

Chorus:
His proprietary off-the-shelf’s all licenced and it never cracks.

CISSP:
My audit logs are analysed, detect intrusions evey time
My legal counsel’s up to date with all the best computer crime
In short, in matters physical, administrative, technical
I am the very model of an infosec professional!

Chorus:
In short, in matters physical, administrative, technical
He is the very model of an infosec professional!

CISSP:
In fact when I know what is meant by “data link” and “twisted pair”
When I can tell a fibre optic cable from a trigger hair
When Internet Explorer I no longer use the Web to surf
Or let my users chat on IRC on all my network turf
When I have learnt that firewalls can filter out the packets bad
When I know that the guy with foreign bank accounts might be a cad
In short when I’ve a wee bit of professional paranoia
You’ll say a better CISSP has never addressed yuh.

Chorus:
You’ll say a better CISSP has never addressed yuh.

CISSP:
For my security training, managerial though it may be
Lacks practical direction and real-world applicability
But still, in matters physical, administrative, technical
I am the very model of an infosec professional!

Chorus:
But still, in matters physical, administrative, technical
He is the very model of an infosec professional!

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2 responses so far

2 Responses to “Just for fun, part 2”

  1. Russon 13 Sep 2010 at 11:28 am

    Okay, this got a laugh out of me. I’m studying for my CISSP exam and fully appreciate the lyrics … although I couldn’t sing them to save my life. I better get certified before they make this another requirement! Thanks!

  2. Daleon 13 Sep 2010 at 7:22 pm

    I have no words for how awesome this is.

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