Jun 10 2014

If you don’t enter, you can’t win

Let me start by saying Nikita is brilliant and should be showered for accolades for coming up with this, presumably on the fly.

Let me give you some background.  Today was the day the letters about who’s talks were accepted for Defcon 22 came out.  Additionally, all the rejection letters for those not lucky (or well prepared enough) to be chosen to speak came out today.  I know my limitations, and as such, I haven’t submitted a talk to Defcon, other than being on panels and being part of the Defcon Comedy Jam in years past.  I also know I’m a smart ass and I jokingly asked Nikita on Twitter (@niki7a) “Can I get a #Defcon rejection letter?  Even though I never submitted anything.”  And here’s the reply I got.  As a coworker put it “So your talk on not submitting and regretting it was rejected because it wasn’t submitted and the rejection was song lyrics about not regretting your actions with a statement on why they regret rejecting your non-submitted non-submital? Meta.”

Martin,

The review board has reached a decision for your submission. Unfortunately, we will not be accepting your talk, “I didn’t bother to submit, and other regrets in the Hacker scene”, for DEF CON 22. If you submitted more than one paper, it may still be in review. Individual letters are sent out for each paper.

Every year, I have to write a bushel of rejection letters, and it’s never easy to shoot someone down who has put together a CFP. I really respect the effort each applicant puts into their work. The work you do, and the willingness to share your knowledge with the community is incredible, and I appreciate the fact you submitted with us. In a perfect world, every submission would be accepted and it’s contents shared with the community. Each talk has the potential to be the building blocks for a new idea, the solution to someone’s headache, the itch that needs scratching, or the salve for someone else’s.

In the end, I try to provide feedback for you so that when a talk is rejected you can get some sense of why and take that feedback to build a better paper. Hopefully, you can use it to submit it again to another conference, or again with us next year. Either way, Thank you again for the hard work. I’ve put together your feedback from the review board below.

———————————————
 We had to reject simply due to the fact that you didn’t submit. Maybe you will think about that next time. I mean seriously, like, what were you thinking?  I’d like to give you the following feedback as a way to help you understand this oversight on your part, perhaps my words will motivate you to improve your position for next year.

“And now, the end is here
And so I face the final curtain
My friend, I’ll say it clear
I’ll state my case, of which I’m certain
I’ve lived a life that’s full
I traveled each and ev’ry highway
And more, much more than this, I did it my way

Regrets, I’ve had a few
But then again, too few to mention
I did what I had to do and saw it through without exemption
I planned each charted course, each careful step along the byway
And more, much more than this, I did it my way

Yes, there were times, I’m sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all, when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out
I faced it all and I stood tall and did it my way

I’ve loved, I’ve laughed and cried
I’ve had my fill, my share of losing
And now, as tears subside, I find it all so amusing
To think I did all that
And may I say, not in a shy way,
“Oh, no, oh, no, not me, I did it my way”

For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught
To say the things he truly feels and not the words of one who kneels
The record shows I took the blows and did it my way!

[instrumental]

Yes, it was my way”

Thank you for your time, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate the opportunity you’ve given me to berate you over electronic medium, I can’t wait to see you at the show!

Please consider submitting or not submitting again in the future, and I hope that you enjoy DEF CON this year.

———————————————

Thanks,
Nikita Caine Kronenberg

There may be material here for a submission to Defcon 23.

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